When I think of myself, my body, I mostly think of the rather skinny little runt I was in my early 20s. When I was even younger I was short, and thin, but for a while in my late teens and early twenties I was really overly-thin.
That time is long behind me. More than half my life now I have been a bit plump, thick at the waist shall we say.
For most of the lives of my kids, and in most of their memories of me, I have been rather heavy. They will hardly remember the time when they could count my ribs, but I remember the occasional bruises from rough housing that more-plushy me would not have noticed. Built-in padding has a few positive points.
The reason I am thinking about this is: late in her life my mother managed to lose a lot of weight, which she had been trying to do most of her adult years. I can just barely remember when she was a healthy weight, but almost all of my life she was pretty heavy despite years of diet plans and efforts. Mom was very pleased with her late weight-loss, and would manage to bring it up at least once every time I got to Viking to visit; it was progress back toward her pre-baby dress sizes.
And, having looked at quite a number of pictures of her younger, fashionable years, I can imagine the motivation. I may not have been so stylish, but there is definitely a sense of being less attractive now than then. I am certainly watching my diet and exercise more carefully now, and would like to lose at least 10 kg.
But if I do, will my kids and grandkids remember me in my slimmer older size or the heavier middle age size?